First page of the Funny archive.

Edible or Inedible

Posted by tirial on February 28, 2013 with No Comments
Cats Rule Postcard
Cats Rule Postcard by KatAnnette
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Matilda is going through a chewing phase. It used to be envelopes and earwax, but it seems she want’s to expand her diet.  Yes, she has plenty of kibble, and cat food, and treats, she’s just being a cat.

This has resulted in many sentences uttered that should not have to be completed with “…Matilda, don’t eat that.” – normally uttered in a resigned tone of voice while retreiving whatever item has been soggified by her attempt this time. So far this week we have:

  • That’s my USB drive Matilda…
  • That’s the mains power cable…
  • That’s Daddy’s phone…
  • That’s my foot!
  • That’s the curtain…
I will give a quick mention to:
  • That’s your brother’s tail… 
but the sentence was not completed.  Stephen isn’t the talkative type so he resorted to a cuff round the head, pinning her down and licking her thoroughly. Hopefully being on the receiving end might have put her off!


Posted by tirial on January 13, 2012 with No Comments as , ,
I’m beginning to think to cats think the roomba is another round, rather thick, not furry, cat.

It broke a while back, right as the warranty ran out, so we went back to hoovering. The cats hated it: hiding, attacking the vacuum, hissing at it, attacking the person using it…it was not pleasant. Then I found this little place that specialises in out of warranty roomba repairs, and when we contacted them it was surprisingly affordable (we certainly couldn’t afford to buy a replacement!). So we sent it off and got it back before christmas – fully repaired and working wonderfully.

The first clue the cats were glad to see it was when I started it up, and Stephen proceeded to feed it. He scooped kibble up in his mouth, sat down, and proceeded to drop it directly in front of the roomba. When it had hoovered that bit up, he went and got another. He has also taken to sitting in doorways or by the top of the stairs and smacking the front bumper with a paw if it gets too close.

I had no clue Matilda felt the same. She normally runs away from it. And then, this afternoon, she came in and raised a ruckus. She was running back and forth, yowling, wapping my ankles with a paw, running to the door and back, so I got up to follow her. I rather assumed Stephen was in trouble (again). Instead there’s Matilda standing in front of a table meowing frantically as the roomba bumps back and forth underneath it, having got stuck.It chose that moment to make it’s soft despondent “lost” noise and stop moving. Matilda froze, staring at it and gave me a look I can only interpret as “It’s died!”. I fished it out, started it up again and told her it was going to be fine. I don’t think she believes me – right now she’s sitting next to it, intently watching it charge.

Not quite roomba-driving but having two cats roomba-mothering is still funny.

Then again, since they have discovered that the alternative is the evil hoover, I think they want to ensure it stays in good health for a long time to come.

Shaved by Sweeney Todd

Posted by tirial on January 6, 2012 with No Comments as

Thought for the day:Never be holding a cat when they see a squirrel Trying to get over my shoulder to get the squirrel, she got my neck. It looks like I’ve just been shaved by Sweeney Todd.Ear to ear, right across the front of my throat. Four parallel cuts, blood everywhere, and I’m typing one […]

Christmas Chicken

Posted by tirial on December 31, 2011 with No Comments as

It’s Christmas, and Christmas means poultry – in our case chicken as we were having a small christmas this year. This meant fending off the cats and, as anyone who has encountered two little furry faces staring fixedly at the oven door knows, they can be quite determined.Christmas Day went off without a hitch, but […]

That’s not a cat!

Posted by tirial on December 16, 2011 with No Comments as

Thought for the DayIs it really do hard to believe Stephen is a cat?I’ve mentioned the little girl on the bus who took one look in the carrier and said “Look mum, a bear!”, but we’ve just had another one.I probably should have expecting it, after all I was discussing Stephen around Halloween, with a […]

Feline Nursemaids

Posted by tirial on November 20, 2011 with No Comments as

Thought for the day…not the eyes!Cats can tell when you are ill. However I think these two are taking it to extremes. R. says that they know what side their bread’s buttered on, and don’t want anything to spoil their lovely retirement.The first time, when I ended up going to bed with what turned out […]

Stephen and Shoes

Posted by tirial on November 18, 2011 with No Comments as

Thought for the day…I thought only dogs liked chew toysIf a picture’s worth a thousand words, here’s four thousand and the fate of my poor shoes: thoroughly chewed, sniffed and slept on.

A cat in the dark

Posted by tirial on October 26, 2011 with No Comments as

We had a brief powercut this morning. When I heard something moving nearby I grabbed a camera (it has become a reflex, living with these two) and snapped a picture in the dark. Once the power came back up, I loaded it into Photoshop and turned the contrast up:Poor cat! I’d forgotten how much he […]

Cats and Taps

Posted by tirial on October 18, 2011 with No Comments as

Thought for the dayI’m not sure but I know what the evidence points to…A few days ago I noticed the lever tap on the bath was turned on in the middle of the day. Thinking that was a bit odd, I turned it off. When it happened again, I thought we needed new taps. Matilda […]

Cat in a box

Posted by tirial on October 12, 2011 with No Comments as ,

Thought for the dayWith cats you never know what will happen next.Matilda walked in with a box on her head. Then she walked straight into a wall, turned unsteadily and flumped down sideways. There was this vaguely mournful meow from inside the box.I went to the rescue. It was a small box, a tight fit, […]