I know you are a rescue cat, and as such sometimes have bad dreams. I know that you need to be woken from these occassional nightmares or you are twitchy and depressed for hours. After last night I also know that I need better reflexes.
Lashing out against the dream monster is not your normal response, but I admire your quick reflexes. Had it been a dream monster, you would certainly have killed it. Unfortunately you then realised it was mummy’s hand and proceeded to cling on firmly, headbump it repeatedly and rub your nose over it. I am sorry I was not more enamoured of thse affections, but it was getting blood over your nose – my blood to be precise.
Don’t get a taste for it.
On the other hand you have been very apologetic all day, and you’re too cute to be angry with.
The staff (who will be waking you at distance with a feather duster next time)